Good Friday, Bad Friday
Four years ago today was one of the best days of my life but also one of the worst.
On Good Friday, 2012, our family was all gathered around our patio table having a beautiful sunset dinner. Our daughter Kaylee and son-in-law Scott gave us an Easter basket. As I unwrapped this unidentifiable gift I pondered “what could it be?”. Never in my wildest dreams did I realize what it actually was. As the final tissue paper was unveiled, there it was. A black and white ultrasound photo in a frame that read, “Baby Falkner October 2012”. I was going to be a grandmother! You could have heard my joyful holler from Fountain Hills which is over the mountains and through the woods.
Kaylee met our son-in-law Scott in college. He was nicknamed “Scotty the Hotty”. He was an Australian, surfer and played soccer. Her dream. Glenn and I had prayed since she was a little girl that someday Kaylee would find a Godly man and she did. What we didn’t realize though, was that his dream was to have his family in Sydney where he grew up.
This joyful, Good Friday soon turned in to the Friday from Hell as Scott and Kaylee also announced that they were moving to Sydney, Australia…in three weeks.
After everyone left, Glenn was cleaning dishes and I remember falling to my knees in my bathroom praying and crying out to God, “Why!?” I just wanted cancer again because that seemed easier. Well I got that wish, didn’t I? (Be careful what you wish for.)
I was in a deep depression. I always thought Kaylee would be part of my life every day. The hardest part was that I needed to be happy about becoming a grandma but my heart was breaking.
So here it is four years later and I’m looking back on this day and reminiscing on how my faith, family and friends helped me get through this.
God reminded me, “they aren’t your children, they’re mine. You just get to be their mom.” The very thing we prayed for, she found and we couldn’t be happier for our Kaylee and the life she lives in Australia.
Easter will never go by without me remembering that Good Friday four years ago. Thankfully I can laugh about that day now, and I’m extremely thankful how I’ve grown from it.
I’m closer now to Kaylee and Scott than when they lived a few miles away. We have a blast together. Everything we do is a celebration.
I now have two wonderful granddaughters, Zoey and Milly whom I get to see more than I ever imagined I could. Technology closes in the miles that separate us. Because of FaceTime, my granddaughters know and love me when I thought they never would.
They are my world, every day.
I remember feeling like part of me died that Friday night but so much has been resurrected. I love how life is in your rear view mirror.
If you were there for me, during that time, and so many were, thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.
Our Easter gift this year is Kaylee and the girls are coming to celebrate my very last chemo (Herceptin) treatment and Mother’s Day with me. Thank you Scotty!
As you celebrate Easter this weekend, be blessed with abundant joy, happiness and peace. May the Lord fill your heart with compassion and never ending bliss.